Cynthia’s Monologue from Goodbye Charles by Gabriel Davis

"Don’t do it! Don’t open that little box one more crack! Don’t ask me to marry you..."

Overview of Goodbye Charles

Goodbye Charles by Gabriel Davis is a comedic yet poignant exploration of identity, transformation, and the complexities of love. Cynthia’s monologue is a humorous and heartfelt plea as she wrestles with the prospect of marriage and the personal changes it may bring. The piece offers actors a rich blend of comedy and emotional depth, making it a standout audition choice.

Character Breakdown: Cynthia

Name: Cynthia
Age: Late 20s to early 30s
Background: Cynthia is a witty, self-aware individual who is deeply uncomfortable with how love has changed her. Formerly sharp-tongued and unapologetic, she now finds herself transformed into someone “nice,” and she fears marriage will solidify this change.
Who the Character is Talking To in This Moment: Cynthia is speaking directly to her partner, who is about to propose, using humor and desperation to convey her internal conflict.
What’s Just Happened: Her partner is poised to propose, and Cynthia interrupts with an impassioned monologue about her fear of becoming a "nice person" and losing her identity.

The Monologue

Don’t do it! Don’t open that little box one more crack! Don’t ask me to marry you. Shh, shh, shh. Don’t say another word. Just listen. I can’t let you do this to me. I mean, before I met you I used be such a bitch. I mean, seriously, everyone at work thought I was a huge bitch. No one actually liked me. Those people I introduced to you as my friends. They’re not my friends. They’re scared of me. Or they were...before I met you. Before you, I never said please or thank you at restaurants. I never smiled or laughed at anyone’s jokes but mine. I never used to tip more than 10%. I was quick with insults. I always had a cruel word. I was cold, cross, crass, falsely compassionate. But since being with you, I’ve begun to feel all...warm inside. Fuzzy. I find myself wanting to stroll in the park and whistle! I have these thoughts, these urges to donate to charities and help out in soup kitchens, and hug people. Since being with you, I’ve given nearly ten dollars to homeless men, helped three oldladies cross the street, and I bought one of my so called ‘friends’ a present at full price. And it was something I knew she’d like. Don’t you see? Don’t you see you’ve made me NICE!? And what really scares me is that you’ll open that box and ask me to marry you, and I’ll...I’ll just nicely say “yes,” and then I’ll be nice for life. I’ll be singing “cumbaya” for the rest of my days. I’ll give back to the community, to the Salvation Army, to The MAKE A WISH FOUNDATION! And I’ll do it anonymously. And then one day, years from now, I’ll wake up and I’ll have the horrible realization that I lived a good life—that I contributed. Please, for the love of God, put that box away. I mean, the planet already has millions of nice people. It doesn’t need me too. I am a bitch! And I want to stay that way! Please, stop, don’t—I’m asking you – No, I’m begging you – I’m getting down on my knees. Will you please, please not marry me?

BROKEN DOWN:

"Don’t do it! Don’t open that little box one more crack! Don’t ask me to marry you. Shh, shh, shh. Don’t say another word. Just listen."

Commentary: Cynthia’s urgent opening immediately sets the comedic and dramatic tone. Actors should deliver this with exaggerated panic, grabbing the audience’s attention.

"Before you, I never said please or thank you at restaurants. I never smiled or laughed at anyone’s jokes but mine. I never used to tip more than 10%."

Commentary: This section humorously highlights Cynthia’s past persona. Actors should emphasize the contrast between her former self and her current "nice" behavior, adding a mix of nostalgia and exasperation.

"Since being with you, I’ve begun to feel all...warm inside. Fuzzy. I find myself wanting to stroll in the park and whistle!"

Commentary: Cynthia’s exaggerated description of her transformation is comedic gold. Play up the absurdity while hinting at her underlying discomfort with change.

"Don’t you see you’ve made me NICE!? And what really scares me is that you’ll open that box and ask me to marry you, and I’ll...I’ll just nicely say ‘yes,’ and then I’ll be nice for life."

Commentary: This is a turning point where Cynthia’s humor meets genuine vulnerability. Actors should balance the comedy with the fear of losing her identity.

"I am a bitch! And I want to stay that way! Please, stop, don’t—I’m asking you – No, I’m begging you – I’m getting down on my knees. Will you please, please not marry me?"

Commentary: Cynthia’s climactic plea blends humor, desperation, and raw emotion. Deliver this section with escalating intensity, ending on a powerful note of comedic sincerity.

Journey Keypoints

Hook: Cynthia’s urgent interruption grabs attention and sets the comedic tone.
Turning Point: She humorously recounts her transformation, revealing her fear of losing her identity.
Climax: Cynthia’s exaggerated vision of a "nice" future peaks in hilarity and emotional weight.
Resolution: The monologue ends with a heartfelt plea, leaving the audience laughing yet empathetic.

Performance Tips

Lean Into the Comedy: Cynthia’s fears are exaggerated for comedic effect. Use timing and physicality to enhance the humor.
Show the Underlying Vulnerability: Beneath the humor lies Cynthia’s genuine fear of losing herself. Let this vulnerability peek through to add depth.
Pace the Build-Up: Start with urgency, let the humor build, and crescendo in the climactic plea.
Use Physical Comedy: Cynthia’s desperation lends itself to physical comedy, such as mimicking getting on her knees or gesturing dramatically.

Learn with Acting Coach Scotland

Cynthia’s monologue from Goodbye Charles is a brilliant showcase of comedic timing and emotional nuance. At Acting Coach Scotland, we help actors bring out the humor and depth in pieces like this, ensuring performances that captivate and resonate.

Explore our coaching programs here.